Punishment for Punishment's sake
by hoppinghamster
Summary: When a crew member brakes the rules Voyager's captain is known to give harsh punishment's but when it's the captain who brakes the rules who has to punish her and just how harsh will the punishment they give her be?...
1. Chapter 1

**Punishment for Punishment's sake. **

**Chapter 1.**

Chakotay looked at the view screen and met his jet-black and angry eyes with the alien ambassador on the screen before him.

"Commander this is an offence." Hissed the brutal looking ambassador before him.

"Ambassador, please can we try to talk about this in a civilised manner." Chakotay asked for what felt like the sixth time in a row.

"Commander we asked only that to obeyed our laws while we so graciously permitted your crew to have you shore leave on our planet." The smug ambassador told Voyagers first officer.

"I assure you every effort was made to ensure all of Voyagers crew adhered to those rules." An exhausted Chakotay tried to calmly explain.

"Your best effort was not good enough." The ambassador told the Native American warrior.

"Please accept my sincere apologies on behalf of this offending crew member, I assure you relevant punishments will be put in place for he who has offended you culture but if you continue to detain any member of my crew I will see it as an act of aggression and shall be forced to open fire." Said a very calm Chakotay as he stood from his chair on Voyagers bridge to try to show more authority.

"Your crew member has been tired and punished according to our laws." Smiled the ambassador, if you could call it a smile the wolf like being was more like grimacing it's fangs at Voyagers first officer.

"Punished according to your laws?" asked Chakotay, he had no idea what those words meant but from what little he knew of this planet he knew this was not at all a good.

The wolf like being rose from his chair and almost barked into the view screen before he howled with laughter which sickened Chakotay as he thought what this race was capable of, "Do you speak as captain now?" the ambassador asked as he licked his lips as though about to enjoy a lovely meal.

"I am in command of this ship for now, yes." A very worried Chakotay replied as he forced his worry down deep inside of himself.

"You look frightened." Sneered the ambassador.

A worried looking Chakotay sank into his command chair and glanced to his right where Voyagers captain, Kathryn Janeway usually sat. Kathryn was still down on the planet rounding up the last of the late night shore leave party. Chakotay had let her go because he knew she had not taken any shore leave in the six days they had been at this planet known as_ Kenwill_ because she had been involved in trade negations which had proven fruitful but had left her very tired and so Chakotay had encouraged her to go down for a few hours before the end of shore leave. About ten minutes ago communication with Kathryn and the rest of the remaining crew on shore leave had been lost and the Kenwill ambassador had hailed to tell Chakotay that one of the remaining crew was to be detained indefinitely on their planet and punished for crimes against the Kenwill people, The remaining crew members would be returned to Voyager by a Kenwill shuttle craft within the hour at which time Voyager was to leave orbit straight away. Chakotay knew Kathryn would be doing everything she could on the planet to get things straightened out but as he had no communication with her he was trying his best to be diplomatic form Voyager. When the Kenwill shuttlecraft returned Kathryn to her ship soon Chakotay knew she would do all she could to have her crewmember returned, diplomatically.

"What exactly are the crimes our crew member has been punished for?" asked a calm and steady Tuvok as he stepped forward to stand beside Chakotay's chair.

"Damage of public property is the main crime." The ambassador informed them.

"What does Captain Janeway say on this matter?" asked Tuvok.

The wolf like Kenwill ambassador howled once more and then turned his grimacing eyes to Chakotay saying, "that slut you call captain is in no fit state to have anything to say."

With the ambassadors words Chakotay's anger erupted as he leapt to his feet and demanded to talk with his captain.

"Very well." Came to cold voice of the ambassador before an unusual red transporter beam took Chakotay directly from the bridge.

When he rematerialized Chakotay found himself in a dull looking complex of some kind. A Kenwill security guard leapt forward and removed his phaser and tricorder. "Just in case" came the familiar voice of the ambassador from behind.

"I am a peaceful man from a peaceful people, I only attack when attacked." Chakotay said calmly as he eyed the wolf man from head to claw.

"That too is what your captain told us but that was before." The ambassador told him slyly. Chakotay had not noticed before just how menacing a people the Kenwill were as a race. The ambassador was covered in skin and yet furs as well. His teeth looked ready to rip human flesh from human bone and his claws looked ready to mane whatever stood in his path.

"You said all crew were be released, returned to Voyager by shuttle craft within the hour" Chakotay exclaimed.

"I said no such thing commander." The ambassador told him "I said all innocent members of your crew were to be returned to Voyager by shuttle craft but the one guilty member remains our prisoner and she is punished as such." He was almost howling with laughter as a look of comprehension appeared across Chakotay's face.

"What is she convicted of?" spat Chakotay with his anger rising.

Even Chakotay's anger caused the evil eyed ambassador to back off a little.

"I told you, she did not observe our laws while on shore leave on our planet." The ambassador told Chakotay wearily as though Chakotay asking too many questions was becoming tiresome to him.

"I want to see her! NOW!" screamed Chakotay as he clenched his fists and towered above the grimacing ambassador.

"Are you blind or something commander?" asked the ambassador. Chakotay glared at him for a moment and then let his eyes dart around the large darkened room until they fell on a tiny whimpering, blood stained and naked figure huddled on the floor. Chakotay had not seen this figure before but now the sight of it drew his eyes he could not bring himself to look away. It was human, a human female. Slim and short Chakotay could not see the face for her cropped red hair cover her face but Chakotay knew who it was that he was looking at. Chakotay felt he was going to be sick and he felt the colour drain from his cheeks and his breathing quicken as his mind raced. What should he do? Run to her? Arrange for her release the diplomatic Starfleet way or kill the clawed man before him.

The ambassador watched Chakotay and then laughed loudly, he turned and hauled the naked figure off the ground using his sharp claws to dig into her delicately soft and pale flesh bringing her disgusting and distorted limp form into the light like a prize trophy for Chakotay to examine.

As the light hit the body Chakotay saw nearly every bone was shattered, her limbs stuck out in wrong angles. Her entire naked body was bruised and covered in blood, Chakotay saw no part of his beautiful captain where her skin was it's natural colour. Blood poured from her open flesh wounds where the ambassador's claws were digging deep in her flesh where he held her up for Chakotay to see.

Chakotay had always dreamed of seeing his captain and best friend naked but never like this. This was a memory he was determined to wipe from his mind, after he freed the woman he loved from this torture.

"There, now you have seen you must take the rest of your crew and be on your way." The ambassador said as he flung the limp form of Kathryn Janeway to the floor behind him like discarding the garbage.

Chakotay winced as her body hit the ground with a thud but something in him left him ridged to the floor where he stood, his mind was racing, Kathryn would hate him for all eternity if he broke one of Starfleet's precious protocols to rescue her. This was evidently the judicial system of the Kenwill people and Kathryn Janeway was always one for following the rules and traditions of the planets they visited. Chakotay knew Kathryn would never forgive him for busting her out in anyway that involved breaking the rules but he would NEVER leave her to be treated this way, hell he would NEVER leave her even if they had her in a golden palace.

Taking a deep breath Chakotay said the only thing he could think of to say right then "I would like to negotiate for Captain Janeway's release."

The ambassador wiped his stupid grin from his face and narrowed his eyes at Chakotay who stood firm staring at him and not at the love of his life who lay battered and bruised at his feet. The ambassador had expected Chakotay to fight him, he had seen the way the two had interacted and he was sure they were a mating pair. "Is she your mate?" the ambassador asked Chakotay was he looked at him sceptically.

"She is my captain, my commanding officer." Said Chakotay truthfully and cautiously.

"Can you not command your ship in her stead?" asked the menacing ambassador as he looked from the captain's crumpled form to Chakotay.

"I am in command now and I am negotiating with you for her release." Chakotay told him sternly.

"She is vermin, she is a slut, and she screams too much and begs my men to stop." The ambassador told Chakotay calmly.

Chakotay narrowed his eyes at the ambassador and then slowly lowered his gaze to look upon Kathryn, he had never looked at her naked body before and though he dreamed that one day he could it had never been like this. In his dreams she stood before him and allowed him to remove every item of clothing from her beautifully smooth and creamy skin one by one until there was nothing to remove and then he would gaze upon her true beauty, in his dream it was an act of love, a mutual consenting act but this was wrong. This made Chakotay ashamed of what he must do and disgusted by what he saw though he hated himself for being disgusted by her but seeing her body in that sate was disgusting.

Chakotay felt his heart pounding as he lowered his gaze; he noticed then the places the claw marks penetrated her skin. Those mixed with the last words of the ambassador meant he feared only thing now, his gaze lowered to her most private and personal part of her body. Chakotay felt great shame to be looking at what only she should allow who she will to look at. even though he had dreamed many times of looking at it and grasping his fingers inside of it all he wanted to know now was if any of those animal claws had been inside of her without her consent. Chakotay looked upon his captains privates as she lay naked before him but could not keep his gaze for he felt it was too indecent of him, when he got her back to Voyager the doctor could look for signs of forced entry and hopefully, he prayed, would find none.

"What did she do to warrant this kind of punishment?" Asked Chakotay and he raised his gaze to the man who stood before him.

"What is wrong with the punishment?" Asked the ambassador in horror and confusion at Chakotay's question.

"It is wrong and it is sick!" Spat Chakotay as his anger boiled.

"To who you or to me?" asked the ambassador.

"To Kathryn!" exclaimed Chakotay. "Look I am sorry for whatever she did that was a breach of your laws but to treat her like this is a breach of our laws and I will not and can not stand for this."

"This is how prisoners our punished on Kenwill." The ambassador told Chakotay sincerely.

'_To hell with diplomacy'_ Chakotay thought as he realised that he now just wanted Kathryn to get to the doctor so he could be sure she was all right. "On Voyager to do this to a person would warrant punishment." Said Chakotay as he removed his uniform jacket and bent down to wrap it around Kathryn's tiny body. He brushed the blood stained and matted hair from her face and kissed her forehead. "I am sorry she broke one of your laws but I will not allow you to do this to her, she and the rest of my crew are returning to Voyager with me right now weather you like it or not." he said sternly and he bent down and scooped Kathryn's limp body into his arms.

"-ko-tay." he heard her whisper. As he looked down to see her beautiful blue eyes flitter open and fill with tears and her mouth cough up blood he filled with anger for the ambassador who had done that to her.

"I am here Kathryn, I am so sorry, I have you now Kathryn." He told her as tears welled up in his own eyes but he softened a little when she smiled at him. Her smiles always softened his resolve.

"but what of her punishment Commander?" asked the ambassador seriously.

"Has she not been punished enough?" snapped a very angry Chakotay.

"Commander, punishment is not served. I will only allow you to return her to your ship if you allow me to come with you and discuss the terms for the rest of her punishment." The ambassador told Chakotay seriously.

Chakotay saw the Kenwill people had the upper hand and would stop him from taking Kathryn if he did not comply with these terms, "Fine your with me." Chakotay said knowing this was the only way he was going to get some medical treatment for Kathryn any time soon, at least on Voyager he had the upper hand.

Later that day Chakotay was pacing the floor of the briefing room in negotiations with the Kenwill ambassador.

"She should serve a sentence." The ambassador insisted as he glared across the table at Chakotay.

"It would appear commander that the captain has broken the prime directive." Said Tuvok in an honest and logical voice

"Yes, and is that not one of your most sacred laws?" asked the ambassador smugly.

"the most sacred." Replied Tuvok to which Chakotay merely stared in anger at Voyagers chief of security.

"Captain Janeway is lying in sickbay being operated on, she will be lucky if she makes it out alive." Yelled Chakotay as he glared an evil glare at the ambassador with a look of pure hatred.

"What, commander, would be a federation punishment for a crew member who has broken the prime directive, damaged the property of an alien planet and racially insulted another race?" Asked the sly ambassador.

"Captain Janeway would never do such a thing!" Yelled Chakotay as he looked from Tuvok to the ambassador.

"Actually" began Tuvok to which Chakotay turned and gave him a menacing look. "She did, the evidence has been presented, and captain Janeway is guilty of these crimes."

"Well there you have it, so how would a federation commander punish his guilty crew member for these crimes?" Asked the grimacing ambassador as all eyes turned to Chakotay.

"Get him off this ship." Growled a VERY angry Chakotay as he turned away to look out of the view screen much the same way as Kathryn often did.

"very well" said the ambassador as he stood from the briefing table and moved towards the door, "have my prisoner ready to be transported with me." with his last words the ambassador stopped and waited for Chakotay's response.

"Over my dead body!" Yelled the commander, which caused the ambassador to turn and to look the angry Native American warrior in the eye.

"Commander, if I may." Asked Tuvok as he realised the situation was getting slightly out of control.

"who are you in the command hierarchy of this ships?" asked the ambassador as he addressed Tuvok.

"I am Commander Tuvok, Chief Security officer and Bridge Tactical Officer, I am the ships Second Officer." Tuvok told him truthfully.

"Which means you now work under Commander Chakotay was second in command?" asked the ambassador.

"Correct" replied Tuvok.

"You do not appear to be as angry as Commander Chakotay, do you not care for your captain as much as he does or is it that you understand our right to punish her." Asked the ambassador calmly.

Tuvok glanced at Chakotay where he stood very thence and still looking out of the view screen. "I am a Vulcan, my race does not agree with violence, especially not as a form of punishment. By my standards and the standards of the Federation the way you have _punished _our captain is not acceptable and is in it's self a punishable crime, a very serious one."

"as serious as breaking the prime directive?" asked the ambassador who generally did not understand what was wrong with the way he had punished the captain.

Tuvok nodded and said "as serious, yes."

"The point is you will never get your disgusting hands on her again." Snapped Chakotay as he whirled around to look at the two, "Tuvok, please try to negotiate with our _guest_ the terms for Captain Janeway's release, I shall be in sick bay."

"Aye sir." Said Tuvok stiffly as Chakotay stormed from the briefing room leaving a very stunned and confused Kenwill ambassador with Tuvok who was stood with one eyebrow raised in the direction of the now closed door out of which Voyagers first officer and now acting Captain had just left.

**Chapter 2 now up….**


	2. Chapter 2

**Punishment for Punishment's sake.**

**Chapter 2.**

"Report" snapped a very angry Chakotay as he marched into sickbay.

The doctor looked up from where he was stood at the main bio bed and said with a cheery smile, "she's awake, She'll be fine, a little tired for a few days but fine."

Chakotay let out a breath he hadn't even known he was holding in, "Kathryn." He whispered as he moved quickly towards where she lay on the bio bed watching him with her watery blue eyes. "How are you?" he asked as he took her hand in his.

"Better than I was." Kathryn mumbled, "I am so sorry Chakotay."

"What for?" he asked as he looked down at where she lay, "it's the Kenwill ambassador who will be sorry" he growled.

"No commander!" Kathryn snapped with all her strength, "no more of us will break the rules."

"Kathryn what happened down there?" Chakotay asked as he admired her strength and resolve.

"Commander I heard what was going on down there, I know you have the Kenwill ambassador on board to negotiate my release, I wish to see you and Commander Tuvok and the ambassador together." Kathryn told him as she forced herself to stand from her bed and look her first officer in the eye with her best command face.

"Captain please." The doctor said chipping in and trying to get her to at least sit down on the bed.

"Kathryn you never have to see that sick animal again!" Yelled Chakotay as his words rung out through Voyagers sickbay.

"Commander please!" Kathryn shouted back at him giving him one of her famous 'Janeway Death Glares' as he stared at her and their eyes met she placed her hand gently on his chest, "Chakotay I know you are angry, I would be, but this is not the way, I knowingly broke their laws and I knew at the time what their punishment system involved." She took a deep breath and withdrew her hand from his chest saying "this is not over Chakotay, they were punishing me according to their laws, nothing more nothing less."

"But Kathryn they maimed you! I even feared they, well I feared –" Chakotay could not bring himself to say the words 'rape you' but Kathryn knew what he was saying.

"Chakotay they didn't OK?"

"No! Kathryn it is not OK," Hissed a very angry Chakotay at her.

Kathryn stared wide eyed at him for a second and then said with a slight smile "I am going to take it that you did not mean that the way it sounded Chakotay."

"Kathryn, I want him off your ship. Why do you want to see him?" Chakotay asked her in horror.

"Trust me please, and do as I say." She said looking deep into his eyes and grabbing on to his upper arm.

"Kathryn what are you going to do?" He asked her, he wasn't sure he liked where this was going.

"Promise me Chakotay." She asked almost begging him.

"Promise you what Kathryn?" he asked her cautiously.

"That you will carry out the terms I am about to negotiate with the Kenwill ambassador." She said simply as she begged his eyes with her own gaze.

"Kathryn-" Chakotay began shacking his head.

"Chakotay if you wont I know Tuvok will." She told him "but I much rather it be you." She said with a smile.

"What be me?" he asked but she merely stood and walked out of the sickbay doors with him closely following her. Chakotay knew when the captain of Voyager got something into her head there was no going back sometimes it was a good thing and other times it was a bad thing but something in him right then knew this was not good right then.

Kathryn stumbled towards the turbo lift as both Chakotay and the doctor stormed out of sickbay after her.

"Please captain you need to be under observation and bed rest." Insisted a very frustrated doctor.

"Kathryn stop for one minute and think, listen to the doctor." Instead Chakotay as he stepped in front of her blocking her from entering the trubolift.

"Thank you, at least somebody cares about my opinion." Said the doctor as he looked from one member of his command team to the other.

"Chakotay I need you with me on this one, please, I need you to do as I say." She said as tears began to pour down her face.

Chakotay moved forward and took the frail and delicate frame of his tiny captain in his arms "Kathryn I need to know, I want to know, what are you going to ask me to do?" he said as he held her and didn't want to let her go.

"Just do as I ask Chakotay, please, it's the only way." She said as she trembled into the strong arms of her first officer and she cried.

"Kathryn, your safe now. Take a few days off, I'll look after your ship, and please talk to me if you're not ok." Chakotay said pulling her away from his chest and wiping away her tears lovingly with his thumbs.

"I can't do that Chakotay, I can't let you do that, I would never do that for another member of this crew." She told him turning from him and entering the turbo lift, she held it open for a second and looked at him wide eyed where he stood staring at her in slight confusion, "Join me commander?" She asked.

Stepping inside the turbo lift Chakotay looked to the doctor for support who followed them inside, Kathryn did not protest.

"Kathryn just tell me you know what you are doing." Chakotay said as he glanced to where she stood at his left.

"Sort of" she said with a shrug. Chakotay noticed she wasn't so steady on her feet and she looked paler than usual.

"Kathryn…" he warned and then glanced at the doctor for support but the doctor merely looked at the commander with an exasperated expression on his face.

As the doors of the turbo lift swooshed open Kathryn grabbed Chakotay's hand and squeezed hard, "please Chakotay, go with it, do it for me. Please don't let me go back there." She whispered in fear and fright.

"Never Kathryn." He whispered back as they stepped into the briefing room together followed closely by Voyagers EMH.

Commander Tuvok looked up at them as they entered and the menacing ambassador turned to face them, as he saw Kathryn he took a step towards her and within a second Chakotay leaped between them.

"She is my prisoner, she belongs to me." The Kenwill ambassador insisted as he stared deep into Chakotay's angry eyes.

"If I may, I have a suggestion that might please everyone." Said Kathryn timidly as she looked from face to face of the four men who occupied the room with her.

"It speaks." Hissed the angry ambassador, "you would let your prisoners speak?" he asked looking from Tuvok to Chakotay.

"She is not my prisoner." Hissed Chakotay.

"So you admit she is mine?" Asked the sly cold voice of the Kenwill ambassador.

Tuvok looked from the ambassador to Chakotay and then at Kathryn and raised his eyebrow at her to which she nodded. With a slow glace at the doctor who had taken his stance behind the captain Tuvok then looked back at the captain and nodded, the two now had an understanding, a silent understanding but they both understood what needed to be done.

"If I could ambassador, I would like to negotiate for the custody of this woman not for her release." Said the steady voice of Tuvok.

"What?" Spat Chakotay as he looked at the Vulcan security chief and then back at the Captain who was now stood to attention just behind him, she was refusing to look at him or meet his gaze.

"Negotiate, for her custody?" asked the ambassador slightly puzzled as he tried to understand what was going on.

"Yes, the evidence is such that there can be no doubt this woman is guilty of the crimes." Tuvok began which angered Chakotay. "Janeway, how do you plead to the charges?" Asked Tuvok as he stepped in front of where she stood to attention.

Chakotay watched to two interact and nearly wanted to pull her from where she stood and demand to know what she was doing but then he heard that fateful word come from her mouth, "guilty" she said clearly so all in the room could hear.

"There!" shouted the ambassador, "by her own admittance she is guilty of braking one of your own most sacred laws as well as others."

"I would put it to you that by our laws your punishment system is not acceptable, allow us the custody of our own crew member and we shall punish her the way a federation citizen would be punished for these crimes." said Tuvok stiffly.

Chakotay looked from him to Kathryn and saw she was still stood to attention and not protesting, this was clearly what she had planned all along. Chakotay felt his anger rising but now not for the ambassador but for this woman who stood before him, had she really committed these crimes? Had she really knowingly broken the prime directive knowing the punishment system on this planet, had she really knowingly put herself in the danger he had found her in. He looked at this beautiful woman he loved and his anger boiled, he had to turn away.

"What is the punishment for such a crime in the federation?" the ambassador asked of Chakotay.

Chakotay felt dizzy and felt so angry he could not bring himself to say what the punishment would be.

Tuvok stepped in and explained, "she would be stripped of rank and uniform, she would be forced to wear a prisoners jump suite and would be incarcerated for a specified duration of time."

"Incarcerated?" asked the ambassador.

"Imprisoned, loss of freedom and right as a citizen." Said Chakotay as he stared angrily at Kathryn who knew his anger was there and was refusing to look at him.

"If I was to hand over custody of her to you this is what you would do, even to your own ships captain?" asked the ambassador.

"By her own admission she is guilty." Said Chakotay as he paced around the woman he loved feeling like he was going to be sick with anger, "nobody, no matter of the rank is above the prime directive." He explained as he breathed heavily into her neck where he stood behind her, he felt love and compassion but he also felt deep anger and he couldn't decide if it were for the ambassador or his captain.

"She would be forced to complete tasks of any kind with out question, tasks her senior officers see fit for her to complete." Said Chakotay, "if we were on earth she would be sent to a separate colony to complete these task but on Voyager she would be made to carry them out here among her crew where humiliation is high."

The ambassador grimaced at Kathryn and laughed, he then turned to Chakotay and said "her body is not made to withstand our punishments, you are better equipped to punish your own. I need you word she will be punished in this manner."

"Chakotay looked at Kathryn and though his anger raged he could not bring himself to say it, she turned her begging eyes to her first officer but he turned from her unable to meet her gaze.

Tuvok stepped forward and said sincerely "you have our word, Janeway will be treated and punished as any crew member who brakes the laws and more importantly the prime directive, for her Voyager will become a penal colony for her to carry out her sentence."

The ambassador merely laughed as he stepped up to Kathryn and said "you are a strong willed one, but your own people will brake you more than I ever could, your senior officer is the man you love, the humiliation of submission to him will be enough to inflict pain on you far grater than I could ever inflict on you." He then turned to Chakotay and said coolly "I love it commander Chakotay, perhaps we shall try some of this humiliation and incarceration on Kenwill."

"Mr Tuvok please show out guest to the transporter room and then we shall be on our way." Said Chakotay as he turned his back to Kathryn who was still stood to attention before him. When the ambassador and Tuvok had left the room Chakotay merely looked at the doctor, "dismissed doctor" he said sadly.

The doctor who sensed the anger of the first officer did not waist any time in leaving but did say just before he left the room, "I would like to see her for observation over tonight commander."

"Very well, Give me a few minutes." Said a very weary Chakotay. When he was sure the doctor had left the room he did not turn to face the woman who stood silently and stiffly before him, "Tell me Kathryn, and please tell me the truth, are you guilty?"

"Yes sir I am." She said without hesitation.

"Why?" he asked as he turned to look at her, "I want to know why I had to go down there and rescue a member of this crew because she what? Couldn't be bothered to follow the rules any more?" he asked her in confusion.

"he insulted Voyager, sir." Said Kathryn as she looked at him and met his eyes.

"What?" Snapped a very angry Chakotay "Kathryn you are lucky to be alive, I thought there must have been a mistake." He told her as he sunk into her chair at the head of the table.

"No sir" she replied.

"Kathryn, tell me you didn't know they way the Kenwill punish their law breakers." He said as he looked at her with watery eyes.

"I can't" she told him sadly with deep regret.

Chakotay buried his face deep in his hands and shook his head. "Kathryn, tell me you did not willingly break the prime directive, damage alien property and racially insult the Kenwill knowing that under our law that would allow them to convict and punish you under their laws when you knew what their punishment involved." He sad in a strained voice.

"I am sorry sir." She said stiffly.

Chakotay raised his head feeling the anger boil in him, how could she have done this, did she not think of her crew, of him? Slowly he stood and walked up to her and looked down at her beauty that he love but it was because he loved her that he felt more anger towards her for her reckless behaviour. "Give me something Kathryn, give me something that would not shatter every ounce of respect I have for you and would not make me feel like a fool for defending you this last few hours."

Kathryn stood to attention not looking at him and refusing to reply. Chakotay then knew she was guilty and he was so angry with her he didn't even want to look at her, he couldn't even bare to be in the same room as her. She was safe and alive no thanks to her own stupid actions. Chakotay was so angry he was past the point of wanting to explode.

"I suggest you get yourself out of my sight." He told her stiffly through gritted teeth as he turned from her. "Get yourself to sickbay and have the doctor check you over. I shall send a security officer down there to escort you to the brig while I decide what your punishment should be. Now get out of here." He spat.

Kathryn slowly turned from him, she knew he was angry with her, the ambassador was right, Chakotay could inflict more pain on her in his punishment than any pain she had felt at the hands of the Kenwill. Before she left the room she looked back at the man she loved and wanted to say sorry to him but he talked first, "Please just go Kathryn, You have disgusted me and let me down, right now I can not bear to be near you."

Chakotay's words chilled Kathryn to the bone and she knew he meant what he was saying.

**Chapter 3 now up….**


	3. Chapter 3

**Punishment for Punishment's sake.**

**Chapter 3.**

Chakotay silently stepped into the room, which held the brig and nodded at the security officer on duty. As he stepped up to the force field he saw the prisoner was huddled on the bed "comfortable?" he asked stiffly without showing any emotion, which made Kathryn Janeway look quickly up at her first officer where he stood before her with a PADD in his hand and a stern look on his face.

"Chakotay." She whispered as she dragged herself to her feet.

"It's commander to you." He said watching her as she struggled to stand upright.

"Commander" she groaned.

Chakotay watched the wreck of a woman stand before him and his heart was breaking between love for her and anger for what she had done as well as the fact that he knew as well as she did that he was bound by his duty to punish her according to her crime and the crime was a very serious crime.

"I am going to ask you one last time, please tell me you are not guilty." He said sadly as he watched her.

"I can't," she said with conviction.

With a great sigh Chakotay nodded at the security officer to lower the force field and then stepped inside, looking sternly into her fixed blue eyes he took the pips from her collar and stepping back told her "I hereby strip you of all rank, you are the lowest form of crewman on this ship and will only be allowed the privileges as such, you must earn the right to do something and you must always ask permission, you are currently at the very bottom of the pecking order. When an officer addresses you crewman Janeway you are only to say 'Yes Sir' or No Sir' unless given further permission to speak is that understood Crewman?"

"Yes Sir" came her reply as she stood to attention before the man she loved.

"The doctor recommends you sleep." He told her coldly as he turned from her without even looking at her, leaving her stood alone, he nodded at the security officer to raise the force failed and he said "Computer dim lights" before he exited the room leaving her alone in the dark.

The next morning at 0300 hours the Security Officer on duty woke her up and dragged her from the bed, "Commander Chakotay wish's to see you in his ready room, now." The security officer told her.

"Yes sir" she mumbled as she dragged herself form the brig and followed the security officer through the corridors of Voyager wondering what on earth Chakotay was doing up at this time in the morning.

As she entered her ready room she found Chakotay sat behind her desk looking deeply at a PADD in his hand. Slowly he stood up and dismissed the security officer leaving her stood alone with a very angry Chakotay.

Chakotay circled her as she stood to attention, his anger for what she had done surfacing again "I have here in my hand a report of your injuries form the Doctor, do you have any idea how I felt reading this?" he spat at her as he breathed into her neck from behind.

"Yes sir" She said stiffly.

"Do you know what I saw when I went down to that planet to sort out this mess that this ships captain decided to put herself in?" he yelled as he rounded on her.

"Yes sir." She said stiffly.

Chakotay threw the PADD down on her desk and yelled, "I thought you were DEAD Kathryn!"

"Yes Sir." She said again not meeting his eyes.

"Damn it! Shut up and listen to me!" he snapped as he stared at her frail form stood before him. When she did not move or respond he continued in a more softer tone, "I thought you were dead, I thought they had raped you, I couldn't stand to see you the way you were, the image of your body injured in that way hunts me still." He told her as he silently walked to sit on her sofa. "Tell me why." He said softly, "Tell me why you broke those laws, why you risked your life so freely."

"I don't know." She told him truthfully as she hung her head.

Chakotay slowly stood and walked next to her and handed her the PADD, "read it" he told her simply.

Taking the PADD from him she looked at his jet-black eyes with her deep blue searching eyes which caused Chakotay to turn from her because he found his resolve softening, something he could not allow to happen right now.

When Kathryn had finished reading the report of how serious her injuries were when she returned to Voyager she silently handed the PADD back to Chakotay who took it and asked her, "do you understand how I feel?"

"Yes sir." She told him truthfully.

"You decided to disregard everything and you can't even tell me why." He stepped close to her and told her in almost a whisper like he didn't dare to say it aloud "The woman I love nearly died because of her foolishness."

For a moment Kathryn had to think what he meant and then it dawned on her that he was saying that she nearly died, "I am sorry Chakotay." She whimpered sadly.

"Crewman Janeway I did not give you permission to talk did I?" he asked her calmly.

"No sir." She told him as her wide eyes watched him.

"Fifty press ups" he told her pointing at the floor.

Kathryn's wide eyes locked with Chakotay's as he stared in an unwavering glare at her, "NOW!" he shouted "or I shall make it one hundred"

Kathryn saw he meant what he said and so she slowly lowered her self to the floor at his feet. Chakotay watched her sorrowful body and it pained him rather than pleased him to see her this way. Chakotay had not at all expected Kathryn to do as she was told, he was furious with her and wanted her to know it be he never thought she would do the press ups at his feet like this, this was how any cadet or law breaking prisoner would be treated in the Alpha Quadrant but something in Chakotay could not make his captain do fifty press ups at his feet, least of all in the recovering and vulnerable state her body was currently in. As Kathryn willingly tried to force herself to do press ups Chakotay bent down and grabbed her by the arm pulling her upwards to a standing position "for spirits sake Janeway" he hissed as he grabbed her by the wrist and lead her silently out of the ready room door where they were met by the security officer "take her back to the brig, get a female security officer on duty so that she can shower, no privacy." Chakotay braked as he almost flung her into the arms of the security officer before he turned and walked back into the ready room where he sank on her sofa feeling very confused and almost worried.

A few days alone in the brig was driving Kathryn insane, even though she wasn't really alone, she was never alone. Chakotay had made sure she was under _constant _supervision, even when using the bathroom. Kathryn knew that he would know how much the loneliness and lack of privacy would get to her. Less than a week had gone by and already she felt like she couldn't cope, she needed to see him, to talk to him and try to sort this mess out, how had she been so thoughtless and foolish? Now he thought she was the scum of the ship and was quite prepared to treat her as such.

"Crewman Janeway." The security officer disturbed her train of thought.

"hummm?" She asked.

"I am to escort you to the bridge, Commander Chakotay wish's to interrogate you." The security officer informed her.

'Oh good' Kathryn thought 'I finally get to see him.' With a smile she allowed herself to be led in humiliation onto her own bridge. As she stepped off the turbo lift and scanned the bridge she found all her usual senior staff looking at her, she smiled sweetly at them all.

Chakotay came up right next to her and barked for her to come to attention. The hair on the back of her neck rose and instantly she found herself stood to full attention on her own bridge before her own senior staff. She was reduced to the time she first heard the crack of a commander's whip many years ago.

"Crewman Janeway" Chakotay snapped pacing the room in front of her "do you feel more ready to tell me what happened on the Kenwill home world?" Kathryn visibly flinched, something that Chakotay did not miss. "no?" he asked in a dangerously soft voice when she did not reply.

"it was a miss understanding, sir."

Chakotay leaned down so that his angry face was inches from Kathryn's "if I had a credit for every time a subordinate told me that I'd have a pile of latinum up to my ass!" he growled causing her to gulp with fear "and so I ask again Crewman Janway, what happened down there?" He was now circling her, he was fierce and angry, and sparks seemed to be flying off him. When she didn't reply he started growling about proper behaviour for officers and Kathryn was trying so hard not to feel turned on by him but at the same time was trembling of fear for his anger was great and she felt ashamed to be dressed down in this manner on the bridge in front of the senior staff.

His breath ruffled her hair as he moved down close to her ear, his body brushed against hers "Crewman, care to explain what started the chain of events that led to your total disregard for the rules?" his voice was low, more like a devoted lover than an angry interrogator.

"they insulted Voyager, I was defending Voyager, sir." But even to Kathryn it sounded weak, it wasn't the main reason she had lost her temper but she really didn't want to announce to the entire bridge crew her one main weakness, least of all to him.

His breath fanned against her cheek and his chest pressed against her back and his hip to her buttocks as he hissed "that is no excuse for your actions, a brawl crewman, a brawl. Your lucky you survived the fight let alone the punishment!"

Kathryn merely gulped, she had no comeback and she was only really beginning to see the seriousness of her actions, when she did not say anything she felt his body grate across her back once more "well crewman do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Sparks shot through her at the intimate contact before she said "no sir" and he turned away.

Chakotay began once more to pace before her before he faced her with watery eyes and an angry resolve "you could have died in that jail cell!" he shouted and then turning from her once more he told her in a soft calm disappointed voice "after reporting to sickbay and the doctor is happy you have recovered from your injuries you will report back here to me where you will carry out a series of tasks, both humiliating to you or physically challenging. No one is to help you and at the end of each task I will inspect your results, if I am not happy I will make it worse and you will redo it and redo it until I am satisfied, I will have you working through the night if I am not happy." Circling around her he placed a hand on her lower back as he growled "if the doctor does not give you a clean bill of health you will simply wait down in my brig all alone until he does."

Kathryn gulped, she did not know which she feared more, humiliation in front of her crew handed to her by the man she loved or to be forced to be incarcerated in solitary and loneliness by the man she loved.

**More to come….**


	4. Chapter 4

**Punishment for Punishment's sake.**

**Chapter 4.**

Kathryn Janeway sat alone in Voyagers sick bay waiting for the doctor to come out of his office with her results, a verdict that would either way leave her in a not so pleasant situation. As he sat and thought over her predicament she realised she was very frightened. She new Chakotay loved her and she knew it was because of his love for her he was acting this way. She didn't think she could have coped the way he did if it had been him who had been punished the way the Kenwill had punished her. She had known Chakotay had thought she was an innocent party, not to blame in all of this, how wrong he had been which of course had left him feeling foolish and used when he realised she _had _been responsible. It was that shame and anger that was surfacing now in her handsome first officer. Kathryn sat and pondered on what she would do to punish a crewmember that had broken the prime I directive and damaged alien property and she knew her punishment for the offending officer would not be light. She though back to a time when she had been forced to punish Tom Paris for exactly that, her own anger had raged in her when he had left her ship without permission, she had very nearly fired on his shuttlecraft. She remembered clearly the fear on young Harry's face and how she had justified her actions by announcing that as far as she was concerned Tom Paris lost the right to be a protected member of this crew the second he disobeyed her orders and stole a shuttle craft but something in her knew she had been trying to justify her actions to herself and not to Harry. She thought of the time many years ago when Chakotay himself had done a similar thing and stole a shuttlecraft to take matters with Seska into his own hands.

As Kathryn sat in sickbay waiting for what felt like an eternity with a security officer silently watching her she allowed herself to cry. The look of contempt Chakotay was shooting at her was punishment enough. How had she been so foolish, how had she been so stupid and loose her cool, she had only been down there for three hours and only because Chakotay had insisted she be the one to go, _'Kathryn please, you need rest just as much as the rest of us.' _He had said and when she protested her had stepped behind her massaging her strained muscles the way he always did to support her and planting kiss's on the top of her head he had pleaded with her, _'Somebody needs to go and round up the last of the stragglers, Tom Paris and his gang of merry men. Please darling, what harm can it do to you? The Kenwill are good people, just for a few hours will Captain Janeway not let Kathryn Janeway relax just a little? There is a lovely bar on the left of the main street, please go and get yourself a drink, talk to the locals. I will be here waiting for you I want you to do it, please for me Kathryn.' _He had begged and she had agreed, it was in that very bar she managed to get herself in the thick of a brawl. How here was at the mercy of the man who showed her such love and concern that anyone would think they were actually an item, which of course they were not, captains could not do such a thing! Everyone thought it anyway, and let 'em think had been Chakotay's response and so he continued to give her outward signs of affection and love, and especially when they were alone there could be no mistaking the fact that he loved her.

But that was until now. She had let him down, he had believed she was innocent and he had defended her only to find her to be guilty, that shame he would have felt for that would have been great and so now she disgusted him, he had told her so.

It was then the doctor came from his office and thrust a rather disgusting looking jumpsuit in her face "Commander Chakotay say's you are to put this on" said the doctor with a sympathetic look on his face.

"Where am I going doctor?" she hissed, she knew Chakotay was not allowed to inform her personally of his report, the doctor was to tell Chakotay and he would inform Kathryn of anything he felt she needed to know. Kathryn was passed being annoyed about patient doctor confidentiality, there was nothing she would not tell Chakotay any way and she knew he was only doing that to her because it would get to her so much, she knew he would respect her private medical file.

The doctor glanced back and her as he pretended to busy himself with tidying up his equipment around her, as he knew he wasn't allowed to talk to her and the security officer was watching intently. "The bridge" he told her which let her know she was medically ok but was about to face hard humiliation in front of her crew.

After she had climbed into the disgusting and unflattering looking jumpsuit and stepped towards the security officer to show them she was ready she found herself having her wrists clapped in metal chins in front of her and being led through the corridors of her own ship in this way, even Lon Suder who had murdered a fellow crew member in cold blood didn't get treated this was and many of her crew said she was a slave driver when it came to punishment. Kathryn had prized herself on keeping a tight ship and at time handed out punishments that some would say were unnecessary but this was taking unnecessary to a whole different level. As she was dragged like a cattle to the turbo lift she did contemplate a prisoners rebellion but she knew in the anger Chakotay was in right now she would only make it harder on herself and shame and disappoint Chakotay more which for her was the worst part of the punishment, that and the look of disgust and contempt he had for her when he looked at her.

Then the turbo lift stopped on deck one and she was led in this embarrassing way on the bridge she held her had high and walked proudly to stand before Chakotay who rose from her chair to meet her cold set eyes. Taking the chains from the security officer he silently led her in a circle and round the bridge for all to see before he led her into her ready room. As the doors swished shut he ordered the seal to be placed on the lock so nobody could disturb them and Kathryn began to worry about what was coming next.

Chakotay led her to stand against the bulkhead then he pushed on her shoulders to force her to kneel on the floor. He pulled the chains up forcing her to raise her hands above her head where he then silently pinned then to the bulkhead so she was knelt with her back to the bulk head with her hands chained above her head and unable to move.

Silently Chakotay turned and took his seat at her desk on which he put his feet up and began reading a PADD. Kathryn was watching him silently with her wide blue eyes as he refused to even look at her. Kathryn knew he was going to do or say something otherwise he wouldn't have put the seal lock on the door, she new the mood he was in if this was all he wanted to do to her he would have welcomed any crew member to come in and see her this way. Kathryn also knew that Chakotay knew the silent waiting and suspense was killing her.

**More to come….**


	5. Chapter 5

**Quite a lot of people have been hating on this story, sorry if it's not been your cuppa tea (or coffee black Janeway style) but it was never intended to be a story that was quite how things seem…. I wrote this story years ago, it was one of my first so sorry if it has been a bit off for some of you, there was a point to it, and sorry I had to upload it in bits… but here is the two parts (only one more after this!) in which all the none-Chakotay like / None-Federation like (or really just none-Voyager like) stuff is explained, thanks to all you crazy readers who stuck it out to the end (even if you hated it) it was a late night bit of 'how to make Janeway feel guilty' crap many years ago… please do enjoy the love fluff fest ending between our favourite loved up (and yes so perfect together) command team… thanks…**

Chakotay sat at Kathryn's desk in her ready room staring at the PADD in his hand but not reading it. After some time a very frustrated Chakotay placed the PADD slowly on the desk before him and buried his face in his hands shaking his head angrily.

"Chakotay?" asked a very concerned Kathryn in a horse and tiny whisper.

"What?" he snapped back at her without even looking up.

"Are you OK?" She asked as she watched him, her worry and concern was evident in her voice.

"How dare you ask am I ok?" he yelled as he looked up at where she knelt chained to the bulkhead. She stared back at him looking sad and pained for his pain. "No I am not OK and it is your fault!"

"I am so sorry Chakotay" she told him as she looked away in shame still chained to the bulkhead with her hands above her head, she looked like a very weak wreck kneeling where he had forced her to kneel, something about the way she sat and the way she talked Chakotay knew she was sorry. Standing slowly he walked towards her and knelt down in front of her with both his knees either side of hers like he was saddling her, she did not look at him, she could not.

"Do you regret it?" he asked her.

"How could I not? She wept.

As Kathryn turned her face to look at the man she loved beyond life it's self she saw his hand rise and then the full force of his palm come crashing down on her face "that's for getting into the fight in the first place" he shouted in anger, she couldn't move, she was chained to the bulkhead and the shock froze her, but it wasn't over, up went his hand again and with another whack he slapped her face "that's for putting your self in danger!" a yelp escaped her as she watched his hand come crashing down on her face again "and that's for scaring the shit out of me!"

"Chakotay!" she spluttered.

"Shush, I'm here darling."

Kathryn who had clenched her eyes shut wrenched them open, her whole body was in pain. As she opened her eyes she was met with the deep loving eyes of her first officer.

"Chakotay, please, I'm so sorry, please stop." She begged desperately.

"Stop what?" he asked gently and worryingly as he looked down at her.

"Please" she begged as tears formed I her eyes "I know I was wrong but I can't take it any more."

"Kathryn, your safe, shush your with me now." Kathryn shook her head and tried to pull away and was suppressed to find she wasn't detained.

"Doctor!" she heard Chakotay cry out "doctor is she going to be ok?"

"Commander, she has suffered great physical and emotional stress." The doctor was saying.

"Spirits doctor I know that!" she heard him shout "but will she be OK? She look at me like she is scared of me!"

"I am sorry, please don't Chakotay!" Kathryn's semi conscious body in sickbay was thrashing about on the bio bed calling out in what sounded to Chakotay like fear.

"Kathryn" he whispered trying to still her by stroking her hair and cupping her face in his loving gentle hand but as quick as a flash she pulled away looking up at him with watery and fearful blue eyes.

"I will kill the man who did this to her!" Kathryn heard him shout as he thumped the bulkhead with his fist, none of this made sense.

"No Chakotay no more!" she called out.

"Doctor that is not Kathryn, what's wrong with her?" she heard him demand.

"Do you want a list?" she head the doctor hiss in his own anger.

"Oh spirits Kathryn, I am so sorry, I should never have told you to go there." He whispered as he knelt before her a began to cry.

"Chakotay please don't send me back there." She begged.

"Never Kathryn! Never!"

Her whole body felt numb and she couldn't move. "So numb Chakotay," she whispered.

"I know, Kathryn I know." He told her sadly as he took her face in his hands to make her look at him, "the doctor had to give you a lot of pain killers, it will make you numb for a while, but it's better." he told her trying hard to suppress his anger for those who did this to the woman he loved.

"I hate it all alone in the brig." She told him.

"The brig? Kathryn what brig?" he asked of her as he took her hand gently in his and kissed her palm.

"Voyagers brig, I was guilty, you hate me." she told him as tears clouded her vision.

"hate you? Kathryn why would you think that?" he asked her as he searched her half sleepy eyes for a response.

"I was guilty, I hurt you, I put myself in danger, I am guilty." She told him as she glared at him through sad eyes, "you hate me, the brig, chains, you hit me." she managed to gasp in fear before her eyes closed and her body drifted in to a comma once more. Chakotay stared in horror and shock at the silent limp form of the woman he loved, had he heard her right, surely not, he would _never, _he could _never _raise a finger to hurt her and matter what she felt guilty for, which in Kathryn's mind was quite a lot of things. In Chakotay's mind the Kenwill would pay for what that had done to his beautiful captain. It was then the doctor pushed him out the way as he scanned her blood stained form with his medical tricorder.

"It's now or never commander." The doctor told him seriously.

Chakotay turned his body to face the doctor still in shock over his captain's last words, his uniform, hands and face was stained with her blood, "do what you need to do doctor!" he shouted, "just make sure you save her life."

**Last chapter coming in the morning… thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

Over the next few hours and days Chakotay spent whenever he could at his captain's side in sickbay. He wasn't getting any sleep in between acting as captain and sitting at his captain's bedside begging her unconscious form to pull through. He had tried his medicine wheel but either her wounds were too serious or because she did not follow his beliefs it had not worked but Chakotay had simply needed to do something. He was feeling helpless and her last words haunted him still. What could she have meant by _he _hit her? _He _hated her? Did she not know that he loved her? But the way she looked at him with such a deep fear in her deliciously blue eyes Chakotay did begin to wonder what she thought of him.

"Commander?" the doctor broke his train of thought. "She is not likely to wake up for at least another week, please get some rest, spend time on the holodeck or something."

"No I can't, I _need _to be here doctor." Chakotay said sternly as he clasped her beautifully delicate hand in his.

"Come on Chakotay, I'll play you at pool and let you win." Smiled Tom Paris who too was sad and angry about the way the Kenwill people had punished their captain.

"What happened Tom? You were there!" snapped Chakotay, as he looked the ships helmsman in the eye for the first time since he had saved Kathryn's mangled and attacked body from the planet just over a week ago.

"She was in a bar fight." Tom told his commanding officer cautiously, he didn't know how much the ships acting captain knew of the events that lead to the captain being arrested and punished.

"I know that!" Chakotay said in a slow steady voice as he stood from his captain's bedside to look the younger man in his blue eyes.

"She may have insulted them, the Kenwill I mean, insulted them racially." A very nervous Tom spluttered at the darkened face of the angry Native American warrior.

"May have?" Demanded Chakotay.

"Well she did." Tom corrected himself.

"So what your saying is _she _started a fight with these dogs?" Chakotay asked almost in shock as he found it hard to believe that his level headed Kathryn would do such a thing.

"It got out of hand before she really knew what she was doing"

"You think?" Chakotay asked as tears began to form in his eyes "did you see what they did to her?"

"That wasn't in the fight, they took her, after she destroyed their bar." Said a very sad Tom who was annoyed with himself for not stopping her, or them "that is how they punished her." He told Chakotay as the two glanced at her still unconscious form recovering on the biobed.

Chakotay turned back to her and knelt beside her asking "why?"

"Why?" Tom clarified as he watched the brave and angry warrior stroke the soft pale cheek of his captain.

"Why did she start a fight?" he asked calmly as he hand trembled above her shoulder.

"They insulted Voyager." Tom said stiffly.

"You expect me to believe that she started a fight with a race ten times as strong as her and whose claws could rip her in two, and very nearly did, knowing she would end up punished this way all because they insulted Voyager?" Chakotay asked sadly not even looking at Tom as he rearranged her blanket to cover her even though she was dressed in a blue sickbay gown, the sight of her naked the way he had seen her in the Kenwill prison had disturbed and angered him.

"You should talk to her." Said Tom slowly as he turned from them and left them alone in the quite sickbay.

"I would", whispered a loving Chakotay as he looked at her silent body on the biobed "if only she would wake up." As he sunk on his knees next to her bed he stroked her beautiful fair skin and planted a tiny kiss on her now pale lips. "I will be back my love, I must rest, please hang in there for me." he whispered. He then returned to his quarters to catch a few hours sleep before his shift on the bridge started again.

Nearly two weeks passed by and still Chakotay spent every spare second he could at the bedside of his silent unconscious love in sickbay. His worry for her grew with each passing moment and still he prayed to every spirit in the skies to awaken her. On the bridge he was becoming more and more silent as worry and fear for her washed over him, he was hardly eating and he spent his nights trembling as he thought of the way he had found her violated body nearly three weeks ago.

It was one of those lonely nights where he lay silently, alone and awake in his quarters hoping to find a tiny ounce of peace in a few hours sleep when his comm badge chirped and the doctors voice rang out though the cold of his silent and darkened quarters.

"Doctor to commander Chakotay"

"Chakotay here" he gulped as his blood rushed from his head and his colour drained from his face.

"She's awake." The doctors disembodied voice said from his comm badge.

"Is she ok?" Chakotay asked as he jumped from his bed without a second thought and almost ran to the door to make his way to sickbay without even thinking of it.

"She will live" the doctor told him "but it will a long and difficult recovery."

For Chakotay he knew what he needed to know, his precious Kathryn would live. As he came barding into sickbay he ran to her biobed and sunk on the floor before her, as soon as she saw him her face contracted and a look of fear shot across her eyes.

"Kathryn?" he asked "Kathryn it's me, Chakotay." He told her with such love but when he reached to cup her face in his hands she pulled away. Retracting his hand he looked her as tears began to fill his jet-black loving eyes, "Kathryn why are you scared? Your safe, your in sickbay, the doctor has been taking care of you, it's only me and him here."

"Chakotay?" Kathryn looked deep into his eyes and found only love there.

"It's me, I'm here, and I'm yours." He whispered painfully back at the woman he loved.

"Don't hate me." she begged as she clenched her eyes shut and pulled from him.

Chakotay looked at her stiff and wriggling body in the biobed and then looked back up at the doctor wide-eyed.

"Tell me Kathryn" he begged "tell me what you mean, why would I hate you?" Chakotay asked lovingly as he stoked her face where her tight shuteyes remained closed even though her body stilled at the softness at his touch.

"I am guilty" she told him with conviction as her eyes shot open, "I won't lie to you, I started the fight." She was trebling with fear now.

"I know Kathryn, Tom told me." he said stiffly but still looked at her with love. "Did you know this was how they punish their law breakers?"

She did not reply with words she just looked at him with fear and then let out a stifled and tearful nod.

Chakotay closed his eyes as his own tears threatened to fall. "Why?" he asked, "why did you fight them."

Her heart rate quickened and her breathing became erratic as she sobbed saying "I am sorry Chakotay, please stop hitting me, I thought I could be strong for you but I can't"

"Kathryn?" he gasped in horror "I would _never _and could _never _hit you!"

"In the ready room, you chained me to the bulkhead and beat me." she cried in fear.

Chakotay stood and backed away from her staring at her with a look of horror shaking his head "Kathryn, I didn't, I couldn't" he told her begging her to believe him as he trembled with fear.

Kathryn turned from him crying, "I felt you Chakotay, and I saw you." She whispered. "you were angry with me."

"Kathryn I was not angry with you, I was hurt and angry that they did this to you, that I left you alone in that _place_." He growled "but never was I angry with you my beautiful one" he said sitting before her and taking her chin in his hands to gently turn her to look at him.

Kathryn let her blue eyes linger on his loving and handsome face as she whispered "I am sorry"

"I know you are darling, I know, but please tell me what you are sorry for." He asked as his eyes searched hers.

"I started it Chakotay, I broke the prime directive, I damaged alien property and I racially insulted them" She watched Chakotay expecting him to explode with anger but all the while she was talking he merely stared down into her face with even more love in his eyes. Turning from him in shame she whispered "I let you down."

"let me down?" he spluttered in horror. "Kathryn you have never let me down, you are my brave and beautiful woman warrior and you always will be." He told her in a deep and true voice. "I let you down, and for that I offer you my deepest apology, I never kept you safe." With those words tears trebled down his cheeks.

Kathryn's head was spinning, this was not the Chakotay who had hated her with contempt over the last two days, the Chakotay who had punished her and abandoned her in the brig, who's humiliation and been nearly unbearable and who's beatings had hurt her so much. She didn't understand what was going round in her head. "I am tired Chakotay." She told him stiffly.

Chakotay looked at her for a second though his watery eyes and nodded, "I'll leave you to sleep, good night sweet heart."

"I'll be a good girl, I promise, I wont break the rules." She told him almost fearful as she looked up at where he was standing.

"I know Kathryn, I know." He told her "your brave and good."

Later that night Kathryn lay wide awake and confused in her biobed with all she had faced going round in her head, the doctor came over and gently asked if she was ok.

"Did Chakotay do this to me?" she asked as she looked at her scared and broken body.

"Captain, when the commander carried you into my sickbay three weeks ago your injuries from the Kenwill prison we so serious I didn't think you were going to make it. It's been a long three weeks for all of us but I think you will survive, a little tired and weak for a while but I would be happy releasing you to your quarters in the morning and allowing you back on light duty by next week if things begin to improve as they are." He told her with a hint of pride in his voice.

"But Chakotay?" she asked the Doctor in horror, "you said I was fit for duty, you sent me to the bridge in chains."

"Captain?" he looked at her confused. "Commander Chakotay had done nothing but insist to sit at your side whenever he can for the last three weeks while you recovered from the injuries the Kenwill left you with. He has barely slept, more than once I have found him here slouched over you asleep at your side." The doctor told her truthfully.

"but I was guilty, he punished me" she told him sadly.

The next morning Chakotay came into sickbay to see her empty biobed, "Doctor?" he asked as the EMH came into view from his office.

"I have released her to her quarters, she is to rest over the next few days, I will go and visit her in a few hours." The doctor informed his commanding officer.

Chakotay nodded saying "Thank you doctor, I'll not bother her, let her get some sleep."

"Commander, I think she might like it if you were to visit her." The doctor told him in away which made Chakotay question if there was a problem.

"Doctor?" He asked "is there something I should know?" when the doctor did not reply Chakotay asked in a more demanding tone "Doctor?"

With a sigh the doctor explained "the captain and I talked last night, she feels great guilt and responsibility for what happened on the Kenwill home world, she feels a heavy guilt for you worrying for her."

Five minutes later Chakotay was outside his captains quarters pressing her door chime begging for admittance. He only had to press it once and her doors swished open granting him that admittance.

Chakotay stepped inside letting the door close behind him to find himself in her pitch black sitting room, "Kathryn?" he whispered when there was no reply her gently said "computer raise lights by fifty percent." It was just enough for Chakotay to see his captain lying face down on the sofa, "Kathryn?" he asked gently as he knelt beside her and stroked her hair.

"You shouldn't have come." Kathryn's muffled voice said.

"Kathryn my dear, I wanted to come." He watched her for a response as his heart was breaking to see her like this.

"I need to know, do you hate me for what I did?" she asked turning her body to look up at him.

"No." he said without hesitation "I love, respect and admire you." He told her "you know that."

"I am sorry Chakotay" she whispered as tears trickled down her face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked gently.

"About what?" she asked him confused.

"The doctor said you feel very guilty about what happened" then Chakotay closed his eyes "he told me you had a dream of me punishing you, that's why you have been scared if me."

"It felt so real, I deserved ever part of it, and I feel so guilty." She sobbed.

Stroking her cheek and planting a kiss on her forehead he told her with conviction "I love you Kathryn Janeway, you know that, I do not hate you."

"I need you," She whispered.

"You have me" he told her gently taking her into his arms where she sobbed and cried and allowed herself to be cradled.

"you beat me." she wept into his shoulder.

"I never could, I never would" he insisted as he stoked her back and rocked her tiny delicate body in his arms "I was so scared and frightened I lost you, did you see the claws they had?" he asked as his own hands trembled against her back where he held her lovingly in his arms. "Don't you ever do that to me again" he whispered in his own fear.

"Never, I promise Chakotay" she cried as he lay her back down on her sofa. "I feel so guilty."

"Guilt is like fear my love, it tells us when we are wrong but we must overcome it." As he watched her shivering body he asked "would this help?" he then leaned in and planted a tiny kiss on her lips and whispered in her ear "I forgive you." Straight away he saw her strained muscles relax and a smile curve around her lovely lips. Taking her hand in his he stoked her knuckles with his thumb and asked lovingly "just tell me one thing, if you knew what they might do to you why did you do it? What was so bad you got into a bar fight with those clawed animals?" he asked as he searched her eyes for the truth.

"They insulted-"

"Voyager, I know but it has to be more than that." Chakotay begged her.

"No Chakotay, not just Voyager, they insulted you." She said as her blue eyes turned to look into his deep jet eyes.

"me?" he spluttered in confusion.

"yes you, they insulted you, I couldn't stand for it, I wouldn't stand for it." She shouted as tears poured down her face "you are ten times the man they will ever be."

Cupping her face in his large copper hands he asked in a broken voice "Kathryn are you telling me you put yourself at this much risk and nearly got yourself killed for me?"

"I had to defend your honour, my love." she whimpered, Chakotay stared in shock at the woman he loved as he massaged her back her eyes drooped shut and she fell silently asleep with her hand clasped in his and a smile on her face.

A very stunned Chakotay looked at her tired and weak frame and nearly was sick for what he remembered of her body when he had taken her from the Kenwill ambassador. She had endured all that just to defend his honour.

One more thing Chakotay noticed was that she called him _'my love' _never had she done that before.

"Good night my love, sleep well, rest well and leave the defending to me in the future my brave woman." He whispered as he kissed her forehead and covered her body with a blanket.

He silently stood to leave to let her sleep, he was about to call for the computer to dim the lights when his eyes fell on a photograph in the silver frame. A silver photo frame he knew so well, but the photograph he had never seen before, usually there stood a photo of her and Mark with their dog Molly but it had been replaced by another photo, when she had changed it Chakotay did not know. There in the frame was him, his broad shoulders and dimpled smile, his eyes relaxed and glancing in love at the cheerful smiling woman sat next to him with a glass of red wine in her hand. His hand was gently placed on her knee and she with her delicate fingers on his shoulder, she was whispering in his ear, her rosy lips almost touching his skin. A rare not posed yet beautifully captured moment of them together.

Right there pictured beautifully in a hollo photograph was depicted the moments he had come to live for. One day soon he would ask the love of his life where and when she got that photo of them but for now he would let his beautiful forgiven and brave woman warrior rest with a relaxing smile on her face.

To Chakotay she could never be guilty and never could he raise a finger to harm her.

**THE END…**

**I know some of you didn't like the story and some found it disturbing, I am sorry if that was the case, this was not my intention. If you have read to the end, thanks for reading. All comments and reviews are welcome. **

**The point of this story was trying to hint on the fact that Kathryn is a woman driven by guilt, a woman who is overcome by guilt, the guilt of her father and Justin's deaths, the guilt of not commanding right and the guilt of trapping her crew in the Delta Quadrant ECT. She does what she thinks is right and then hates herself for it afterwards, when has she ever let herself be forgiven? **

**This was to hint on what can happen when somebody is driven by guilt (the over the top punishment was all in her mind, what she believed she deserved.) but in Chakotay's love and forgiveness she found the peace she needed….**

**I was not by any means suggesting violence of any sort (against male or female) is accesptable. I was trying to look at the fact that sadly and indeed wrongly) many woman in todays society do in fact feel they do deserve such violence if they cause their man distress or worry as Kathryn did in this story. **

Of course Kathryn just like any woman DOSE NOT deserve violence against them but violence is NEVER ok.

I work for a charity who work with woman (some as young as 13/14) who have let their minds become riddled with guilt from whatever source and for whatever reason and many of the women I encounter in my job have developed these ideas and thoughts that they deserve violence against them, some women do in fact have delusions that their loved ones are hurting them in the way they feel they deserve when in fact the men they love have never and would never lay a finger on them. Many of the women I work with can not find the freedom they need until the men they feel should be punishing them actually tell them they are forgiven, even though most of the time there is nothing for them to be forgiven for.

the mind is a very powerful and very suggestive organ and the situation I wrote about in this story sadly is VERY true to many women.

VIOLENCE IS NEVER OK and i was NOT in anyway promoting it! I wrote this story out of real situations and the story of real woman I meet on a daily basis in my work place to highlight what really can go on in a persons mind. I am sorry if it offended you or didn't make sense in anyway to you but what Kathryn and Chakotay went through in this story really happens in couples and like Chakotay the men are loving devoted men that have never and would never dream of doing that to anybody least of all the woman they love. Thank you for your time. Feel free to contact me about this story if you feel you wish too.


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